


You smell like heartbreak

by FirenzeSun



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Again, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, First Kiss, First Time, Frottage, Geralt apologizes to Jaskier, Hand Jobs, Love Confessions, M/M, i guess, you'd think I'd find something else to write but no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22148248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirenzeSun/pseuds/FirenzeSun
Summary: When Jaskier raised his eyes and looked at him it hit him like the rank stale of sweat. Fear. Jaskier was afraid of him.For the first time since they had met fourteen years ago, Jaskier ranked of fear. It hit Geralt like a punch to the gut. He made it seem like he was aiming to sit in the chair in front of him, to hide the way his legs were unable to whistand the blow.Jaskier feared him."Hey," Jaskier said back, voice fragile.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 62
Kudos: 3122





	You smell like heartbreak

* * *

Fear is a strange thing. It can turn weaklings into heroes, and knights into cowards. It can show the greatest acts of love, like a mother defending her children even when defeat is sure. Or it can seep hatred into the veins of ordinary good people.

It's the latter form of fear that justifies humanity vilest acts. Geralt was used to it. He could smell it. He could smell fear sipping through the urinated clothes of the men at bars. He could smell it on the people who he rescued from monsters, as if he was as evil as the monster he slayed. He feels it when he enters a room, humans, elves, dwarves, even Halflings. They all rank of it when he was near.

So it shouldn't surprise him, but it did, when after almost a year of not running into him, Geralt found Jaskier in a corner of a pub, counting down his earnings of the night. "Hey," he said, approaching him.

When Jaskier raised his eyes and looked at him it hit him like the rank stale of sweat. Fear. Jaskier was afraid of him.

For the first time since they had met fourteen years ago, Jaskier ranked of fear. It hit Geralt like a punch to the gut. He made it seem like he was aiming to sit in the chair in front of him, to hide the way his legs were unable to whistand the blow.

Jaskier feared him.

"Hey," Jaskier said back, voice fragile.

For the first time since he had passed the Trial of Glasses, Geralt wanted to run away and not face the monster ahead. But he had created this one, he couldn't run.

"Seems you had a big crowd," he said instead pointing at the coins. He wished he had a mutagen for small talk.

"Yeah," Jaskier said, looking at the coins. He stayed with his eyes down for a long time of silence, before looking up and in an act of bravery, said: "How are you doing, Geralt?"

He sounded genuine, and Geralt couldn't understand it. "I-I'm fine. What about you?"

"I can't complain, I've been collecting plenty of coin." But they were silencing the same words.

"It was nice to see you," Geralt said getting up, there was no point in torturing Jaskier further with his presence.

"I was about to get some food, I could get some for you too." When Geralt said nothing, Jaskier continued. "Come on, my treat, after all most of what I sang was about your adventures. So I owe you."

Geralt nodded. He watched him go to bar to ask the innkeeper for their food. His stomach was full of lead, he doubted he'd be able to eat whatever Jaskier brought. He thought about bolting but imagining Jaskier's disappointed look was enough to make him stay in his place.

"They'll be back with the food in a while," Jaskier said as he sat again in his seat. "Thank you for not running away," he added, throwing Geralt off balance at how well he guessed his thoughts. He sniffed the air and there it was still, the fear. But if he wanted him to stay, how he could be afraid.

Geralt grunted as a response.

"I can't believe I missed your charismatic conversation skills," Jaskier chuckled. "I thought you'd be going to Cintra."

"I am," Geralt said. "But I needed to pull some contracts along the way."

"If it's coin I'll give you some, no point in you delaying any longer."

"I have enough now, besides, you should use it to go North."

Jaskier gave Geralt another look that unsettled him. Since when those blue eyes stirred his insides.

"I intended to go to Novigrad, but I- I just couldn't go," Jaskier said and Geralt felt his fear spike up.

The innkeeper came with their food, breaking the tension in the air. Jaskier seemed relieved with the chance to do something with his hands, and to fill the silence with the sound of chewing. But the lead in Geralt's stomach only got heavier.

"You should still try to go, before things get worse here."

Jaskier gave him a watered down smile. "When did you know me for doing the sensible thing?"

Geralt wanted to order him to go to safety, or to beg him. But he had no stand with Jaskier, not anymore. If something happened to him, Geralt wouldn't be there to protect him. No swift rescue, or valiant fight, Jaskier would be on his own.

Even when the anger had come down, and Geralt had realized what he had done, he still thought it was for the better. Jaskier would be safer without him, no more going after dangerous monsters. He had been wrong.

Geralt ate, mostly to not disregard the food Jaskier had bought them. The talk was terse, Geralt centered it mostly around the state of the roads. Which ones to take, which ones to avoid. When the food was done, Geralt felt the fear coming from Jaskier spike again.

"I have a room in the inn," he rushed to say. "It's only one bed because I wasn't expecting company. But it isn't like it'd be the first time for us. You can save some coin and sleep comfortable before heading to Cintra. Maybe even take a bath in the morning. I don't want to impose you, I know that- but it's an alternative if you want to."

"Alright," Geralt agreed. Maybe having to smell the fear in Jaskier all night would be his penance.

The pungent odor remained the same as Jaskier entered the room. Geralt closed the door after him and he saw Jaskier shiver. He didn't throw the bolt to not make Jaskier feel trapped.

"So, that's the bed," Jaskier said making a lazy hand gesture at it. It would have been comfortable for one person, but it was definitely too small for two. "We had worse," he amended.

He undressed with little ceremony, methodical and clean. Usually, Jaskier would undress as he did everything else, with flourish gestures and drama. But this time, he was quiet, behaving almost as Geralt did.

"Good night," Jaskier said climbing to the bed. "Blow the candles when you're done."

When Geralt climbed next to him, their bodies touched. It had been natural once upon a time. It had even given Geralt comfort, knowing the other man was safe next to him. Sometimes, they had cuddled, Geralt protecting Jaskier with his body from the cold.

Today it was uncomfortable, the acre odor of fear clinged to him. Geralt had known it, those nights when body contact was an option. Jaskier had smelled sweet, a touch spicy. He had ignored it then. But Jaskier had smelled of love and lust.

He missed that.

However, right now, Geralt couldn't understand, if Jaskier feared him, why did he insist on sharing a bed, why did he act as if he didn't want him to go? If love had turned to fear, why remain at his side?

"I'm sorry," Geralt eventually said, breaking the oppressive silence. Jaskier was with his back to him, but Geralt had heard his breaths and knew he was awake. Now Jaskier was holding his breath. "I'm sorry that I- said what I said. I was angry and upset. But I promise you, Jaskier, that I'll never hurt you, never raise a hand against you. I understand why you fear me now, I broke your trust. I know my word won't be enough, but I promise I'll never hurt you. I'll never be a monster to you."

It was too dark to focus on the stains in the ceiling, but Geralt did anyway.

"You don't need your hand to hurt me," Jaskier said after a while, voice thin. "I never feared you, you must know that. When we met I knew what I was setting up to. I knew my life would be at risk more often than not. I knew that. But traveling with you was worth it. And I _knew_ you were going to break my heart one day. But I wasn't afraid of it. I've told you so on our first day. And you must have known. I mean, you can smell fear. You _must_ have known. But now I know how it feels, I know the pain. And now I fear it, I fear you. How long will be this time until you do it again?"

"Why did you ask me to stay then?" Geralt asked with a strained voice.

Jaskier turned around to look at him, even if there was only moonlight to see his features.

"Because you were always worth it."

"Jaskier," Geralt cried. He tore his eyes from the ceiling, and saw the vulnerable, open face of the bard.

There hidden under the stench of fear, the sweet fragrance of love appeared. Geralt surged forward, and claimed Jaskier's lips as his own.

Jaskier fell onto him with a moan, his lips opening, his tongue receiving him. The tang of fear never left, but it was buried under the new sweet waves of love and the spicy taste of lust. The kiss was desperate, as if they were both afraid the other will regret this and it'd be over.

Jaskier was straddling him. Geralt moved his hips against him, feeling the delicious friction. But he wanted, needed more. He needed to feel Jaskier fully against him, no barriers. He grunted when he got stuck with Jaskier's shirt. Jaskier smiled at him as he went backwards to remove his shirt, and Geralt growled at the sight. Not just the nakedness, but the smile. An honest smile, and no fear.

He brought him down to keep kissing him. A hand through the hairs of his chest, the other through the soft locks on his head.

Jaskier was as desperate as he was. He fumbled fast with their breeches and took their cocks out. He broke the kiss to lick his hand, and then he was grabbing both their cocks, stroking them. Geralt screamed, his whole body jerking towards Jaskier who smiled at him through half-opened eyes. His body sagged back against the bed, but still, spams of pleasure shook him.

"Jaskier," Geralt groaned, his body reaching the finish line. But he still wanted so much more. "Jaskier."

"Yes, Geralt, yes," Jaskier answered, not knowing to what he was agreeing.

A surge of feeling took Geralt, and with a growl he turned them around, pining Jaskier to the bed. His hips trusted hard against Jaskier's cock, while he devoured him with his mouth. Tasting him, feeling him. He inhaled deeply. Sweat, musk, come and so much love. There was no fear there. Geralt's mind was going drunk on the pleasure and the love he could perceive. But then he realized Jaskier couldn't know how he felt, and he deserved it, he deserved so much.

"Jaskier, I love you, I love you," he moaned.

Jaskier came with an aborted sob.

It only took a couple more of thrust and a deep breath for Geralt to follow him.

.

"You won't go North, will you?" Geralt asked him, removing a hair from his wet forehead.

Jaskier shook his head.

"Then come with me. It'll be dangerous in Cintra, but-"

"But you'll be there to protect me?" Jaskier said with a soft voice. It was harsh from the sex, but to Geralt it was perfect.

He nodded.

"You'll always be worthy, my Witcher," Jaskier said buring his head in Geralt's neck.

Geralt hugged him and smelled his hair. There was the lingering smell of sex and lust, the ever present sweet fragrance of love. And there, very faint, some fear. It would take time to mend what he had broken with Jaskier, to have the bard trust him fully again. But Geralt was willing to try.


End file.
